The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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