we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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