rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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