Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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