i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
