It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
