And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
