how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
