i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
