my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
