I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
