Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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