im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
