I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
