You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize