No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
