hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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