In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize