please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He has the fingertips of a God
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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