You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize