when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
