David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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