Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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