every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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