I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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