I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
