Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
