My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
