i barfeds in our rink
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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