I should be sponsored by Trojan
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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