Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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