i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
