when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize