Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
