I think i peed on brittanys purse
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
