How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
