I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
