I want to make a zoo with you.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
