yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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