I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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