i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
