How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
