lets start a swedish sibling band together
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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