I wish I could teleport
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
