On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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