I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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