Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
