I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
