At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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