Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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