I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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