the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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