White coat. Heels.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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