Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
