they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
