grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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