Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
