oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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