Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
ttyl tear gas
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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