Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it was like eating out sand paper
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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