sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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