I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
