no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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