physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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