I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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