So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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