I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
where are my eyebrows?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
