jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
