y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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