You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
