Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize