and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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