No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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