my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
