Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
