Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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