Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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