He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
