Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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