Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
